Living "Roof Off and Walls Down"

By the time I made it to worship this morning I wasn’t doing well at keeping my emotions in check. Earlier in the morning I had talked to God about my concerns, as that is always easy enough.But I don’t know why I feel that I must always appear to be some kind of pillar of strength in front of others, especially those in the Body of Christ. That is laughable knowing myself the way I do, but my pride shows up in many forms and that is just one of them. This morning during worship, the stuff of life spilled out of me involuntarily, and in the form of tears. I couldn’t stop the flow though I tried. There they were streaming down my face, making my nose run and ruining my make-up! All of this out there in front of God and everybody and without Kleenex! I felt exposed and VERY uncomfortable. That is until I felt a gentle hand on my back, it rested there warm and comforting in a tangible expression of support and presence alongside. At first I was embarrassed that someone had noticed, and I made one last vain attempt at getting it together. When I couldn’t, I gave in to the reality that this dear one on my right, had in her kindness given me permission to just be, letting me weep, and as a silent reminder let me know that it was OK and that I was not alone.

In the early fall, the Grove held its first leadership retreat. One of the topics of the retreat was on the subject of brokenness. We learned that dealing honestly with our pride brings healing and wholeness and humility to our relationship with God as well as with others. A book by author Nancy Lee DeMoss entitled Brokenness, Surrender and Holiness provided us with core content for this particular session. She explained that if we desire to be really healthy in our spiritual walk, we must endeavor to live “roof off, walls down” kind of lives.

The concept of "Roof off, walls down” living has been on “slow cook” inside of me ever since. I don’t know about you, but when I think of “roof off” I think of complete vulnerability. And when I hear the words “walls down” well now I’m just feeling way too exposed! Though God already knows it all, He longs for us to figuratively tear down our roof and invite Him in to reach down, to have full access to all that concerns us. He longs to rummage around and bring our stuff out of hiding and into fresh air and light. Until our roof is off, and until we are completely honest with God, we will never be able to tackle the ” walls down” part of the renovation that involves our relationships with others.

So during worship this morning I experienced a lesson in the practical application of “walls down” living. And what is the rest of the story you ask? Well, later this evening I connected with my sister who was such a support, and explained what her encouragement had meant to me. I explained a bit more too, about the reason for my tears. Funny …once I shared it, it no longer seemed so big, and I no longer felt so vulnerable. As a matter of fact I actually felt a little braver, and so I shared it with another sister from The Grove as well, requesting prayer from the women in the Life Growth Group. Funny how sharing a vulnerability is actually an empowering thing. I am slowly learning that being vulnerable does not make me less credible to others, but as strange as it sounds, actually makes me more so. Sharing in this way has helped me to normalize the things I contend with and serves to remind me and others, that we simply share in the struggles of a fallen human condition. Surprisingly, I’ve discovered that this kind of sharing frees others up to be more real with me in return.

I so long for deep and authentic relationships and heart to heart soul-talk don’t you? But even for all of the benefits, I know that this process isn’t going to be an easy one. I know there is work ahead as I ask God to help me move toward being increasingly real all the while maintaining wise boundaries. Trust is always an issue, and there is always a risk, for there will occasionally be one who is well intentioned but lacking in sensitivity. I also realize that I still have walls to contend with that need to come down (and some of them are doozies! ) I must also realize that I will probably continue to secretly wonder If I will be scolded or thought less of if I share some thing that burdens my heart, but I believe that with practice I will eventually find that sharing is worth the risk. I guess that is what is meant by moving toward being “REAL PEOPLE – Sharing REAL TRUTH- REALLY.

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. James 5:15

It is my prayer that each “Grover” endeavors with me to live life“roof off and walls down”. We don’t have to be afraid, because there is safety and refuge in linking arms with one another because we stand together on the firm foundation of Jesus Christ. And because it is God’s plan for His church, and as the Irish say so well…

“It is in the shelter of one another that the people live.”

Until next time,
Peggy

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